So I've been a pastor's wife for about two and a half weeks now. I thought it would take a lot of getting used to but it really hasn't, partly because we were both already so involved with this church and these youth before Trent officially became staff and partly because I have not yet been able to contribute to the youth ministry in my own way as much as I would like to. I made the decision about a year ago to cut being a youth sponsor from my schedule because I needed another free night each week to study for the CPA exam. Now, a whole year later, I am SO close to being done! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm pretty confident it is not a train coming at me... Once I am done with the exam, I will have time to clean my house, cook meals, read books, exercise, veg, watch tv, and invest in the lives of these youth. I especially want to get to know the girls of the group. Their youth minister is now a dude and I want them to have someone they can go to if they need girl talk or girl fun. I'm hoping that I can become sort of an extension of Trent's ministry and gain friendship with all of the youth, but especially the chicas.
I had a youth minister during my junior and senior years of highschool, that was it. Before that, my family went to churches that either did not have an active youth ministry or they did and we did not participate in it. This youth minister made a huge impact on my life and growth during those two years but...he was a dude. I always kind of wanted a female mentor. Someone who had been there, done that, knew stuff, had insight, could relate, etc. Someone who was older than me enough that they had experiences, ideas and wisdom that I did not yet, but young enough that they would still feel like a friend and peer. I didn't really have that. And that's why I want to try to provide that to these girls. We've got great young women in our group and I'm so excited to see them grow and mature. I hope that I can contribute to that.
As far as me being the "typical" pastor's wife, I don't even know what that means and I don't think I'm cut out for it anyway. I don't bake and I'm a terrible hostess, so that might knock me out of the running right there. Can I be the irreverant reverend's wife?? Ok sounds good. I have been told by some wise folks that boundaries are important, the church hired Trent, not me, my help should be requested, not expected, etc. I very much understand all of that and appreciate the advice. I am utilizing it right now, until July 3rd, when I take my last exam. I am skipping Messy Games at youth tonight because I am behind on studying and that still comes first in my current life agenda. After July 3rd, pending a passing score, I am ALL IN.