Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Few Things

Just a few thoughts.

1) Still haven't gotten my exam score yet. I'm getting pretty antsy about it, but a few websites I looked at predict it will be released around August 16th. Wha wha. Just need to be patient I suppose. I don't like this limbo! If I'm done, let me know that I'm done, but if I have to retake it, I'd rather be studying right now. Not true, I'd never rather be studying but you know what I mean.

2) I should dress up for work more. It makes me feel good. I always meet the business casual requirement but I have recently realized that a lot of my work clothes are rather frumpy. They are comfy and that's why I wear them more than my sharper outfits, but they are therefore getting worn out and I'm getting very tired of them. Today I am wearing my trusty brown pants which are a norm, but instead of flats I'm wearing my brown tweed (sp?) heels, instead of a frumpy polo or short sleeved sweater looking top, I'm wearing an Ann Taylor Loft ensemble of cami and shirt that I inherited from a coworker. I like that there are a few Ann Taylor pieces in my closet now...truth is I didn't buy any of them. I may start shopping there since I like the style. Walmart and Target are so much cheaper though... Anyway, I want new clothes. Part of my CPA bonus is going to go to a shopping spree to get some new work clothes and play clothes. It'll be great.

3) I have started journaling for real again. I started last night. I bought a pretty new journal and began...somewhat awkwardly. What does one say when they journaled intensely for many years, then completely stopped for three? There's no way to catch up on that span in between. So I didn't even try. So many big things happened in my life during the time I wasn't journalling, (and that's mostly why I didn't have time to) but the fact that they are big things in my life means that I have my other memories and photos and memorabilia. The memories are preserved, regardless of the fact that I don't have a written narrative of them. Why have I started journaling again? For the past three years, my life was so fast paced that I didn't really have time for me, for my thoughts. Now that school is over and CPA studying is (hopefully) over, I've got that time. And it's let me THINK about some things. I don't really know how to explain my sudden desire to start again. In the past, my journal was a sounding board, a way to work out my thoughts and feelings slowly and logically because at that time in my life I was not good at doing that quickly or on the spot. Because of my relationship with Trent, I have grown into a much stronger person and I am better able to present my thoughts on things without having to sit and work through them privately first. He is my sounding board on many things now. But I still want that special place to record my thoughts, even if I've already got stuff all figured out. Who ever has everything figured out anyway? So. I have one 7 page entry in my new journal and I loooooooved sitting there writing it last night, as awkward as it was. I felt like I was creeping back to a long lost friend and attempting to jump right back in where I walked out 3 years before. I felt the need to write eloquently, as if to prove I was worthy of getting back into this. Strange. But I loved it.

4) Journaled? Journalled? Journaling? Journalling? Journaler? Journalist? I don't know.

5) I'm headed to the Burg this evening after work (when work ends for me today is as yet undetermined...) then my sisters and I are roadtrippin' down to South Padre for Sauer Sister Beach Weekend 2010. Can't wait!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder & A Weekend Getaway

Two weeks ago Trent was gone for a whole week to church camp. This week he is gone on the youth group mission trip to Washington DC. While I did tear up when I dropped Trent off at camp, that first week by myself was strangely enjoyable...I had the house to myself and surprisingly wasn't jumpy or scared, it was quiet, I didn't spend a cent, I had time to myself. It happened to be the first week that I was free from studying, so I was engrossed in starting to do the things I had been unable to do for the past 6 years: read books, watch tv, surf the web, clean my house (eh I didn't do much of that actually), do nothing... Maybe that novelty was enough that I didn't miss Trent too badly. If you're reading this babe, no offense, and keep reading.

Well, the novelty must have worn off between his week at camp and this week on the mission trip. He left yesterday and I started crying as we said goodbye at the church. I either didn't want him to go or wanted to go with him. Now it's been less than 24 hours since he left but I'm already feelin' like this week ain't gonna be like the camp week for me. I have the house to myself but I was jumpy and scared last night, I have time to myself that I'd rather spend with my husband. I have something to do or go to every evening this week so maybe that will help the week go by quickly. Anyway, it'll be just fine and Trent will have a blast. He's never been to DC so he is super excited and I'm happy for him. We are going to make a trip there together sometime in the next couple years before kids enter the scene. In the meantime, I love you babe, miss you, hope you are having a great time.

In lieu of this time apart this summer that we have not been used to in the past, we have been looking for a weekend getaway destination. After scoping out a few options (Shiner TX, Turner Falls OK, Gruene TX), we are going to stay at Quiet Hill Ranch, my Uncle Jim and Aunt Cindy's guest ranch/b&b in Doss, TX on the family ranch. I am so excited. I've been up on the hill many, many times growing up but have never attended as a guest. We'll have our own cabin, go swimming, go for walks, enjoy nature all around, grill out, maybe go over to my dad's chunk of land and rummage around in the barn attic for treasures. Up on that hill, there's no agenda, no t0-do list, no city noise, no city lights. There's just God's creation, beautiful scenery, the company of loved ones and time to simply relax.

Shameless plugs for Quiet Hill Ranch:



Vacation Rentals:

It is a small piece of hill country heaven.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Can't believe it but...drum roll please...we have a puppy! Miss Lucy Lu Futral.

She is 8 weeks old; her birthday is May 17, 2010. She is a mix of coon hound and border collie. We got her from our neighbor across the street whose dog had a litter of THIRTEEN puppies! We have been wanting a dog for a while, but this was kind of a spur of the moment decision. Kim and I were having a garage sale in our front yard Saturday and we saw puppies playing out in this neighbor's front yard. I started texting with Trent who was on his way home from church camp. Free, CUTE puppies down the street! When he got home we went to look at them and fell in love with little Lucy. She is such a sweetie and we love her already!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If I Could Write A Letter To Me

Look back at your life. Where were you one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago? What have you learned? What do you know now that you wish you knew back then? What would you do the same if you could do it all over again - and what would you change? Write a letter to your younger self, and share the advice, knowledge, and wisdom that you've gained from your life.

One Year Ago-July 2009

Dear Anna,

First of all, the dining room you just tore up a few days ago...bad idea. Projects in old houses are never as easy as you think they will be. It'll stay torn up for an entire year, maybe more, and you'll get to look at it every day and think "the wallpaper that was there really wasn't THAT bad..." You should be studying for your CPA exam that's in three weeks instead of starting house projects anyway. And what about the dinner party you are hosting in one week IN the dining room? Trust your gut before jumping into things, you know you knew better.

Oh that exam in three're gonna rock it. And it will start a passing streak for the other sections, even though I know you are stressed right now that you failed this first section a few months ago. Listen to your husband's encouragement and thank him for it. He has been and will be your biggest fan through this whole crazy CPA process.

The motorcycle y'all bought the other day will have major carburetor issues, cost you lots of money, Trent will barely ride it at all because it doesn't work and you will end up trying to sell it. Don't buy things you don't know a thing about, haven't researched, and just happen to see on the side of the road with not many digits after a dollar sign. But, it will be a good bike for Trent's first fall. You'll see it happen from the porch and it will scare you but you'll know he's ok since you saw how he went down. High siding is the bad kind of fall and you'll see him get thrown, but also see that no cars are coming and that he landed just fine and away from the bike. A shiny new bike is in Trent's future, despite what your finances may tell you to the contrary right now. It will also cost you lots of money, but at least this one will work!

You just bought a very large house and it will be a lot of work to try to do all the upkeep yourself. Start working on a plan now for splitting up chores and keeping things straight. Stay on top of said chores or this big house will become an awful mess in no time.

I'm glad you're not having serious baby thoughts yet, because you're not ready. You're only 22, you've got the CPA exam to study for, your finances aren't in great shape, lots of student loans to pay off. And you're not done enjoying being just husband and wife instead of daddy and mommy. Cherish this time together. Reconvene on this subject in a couple years.

Overall, you're doing great. Happily married, homeowners, your parents are proud of you, and you're headed for great things. Keep it up.


Five Years Ago-July 2005

Dear Anna,

Put down your journal and dry your tears for a moment. I know you are extremely confused and hurt right now. Leave it to Facebook to break it to you instead of him telling you in person, but that seems to be the way this world is headed. You won't believe me right now, but this the BEST way this crazy situation could have ended. The girl he's now suddenly dating will eventually be trying to get out without him hurting her again. The next couple girls will learn the truth about him in worse ways. Be glad he lost interest in you when he did. You didn't know what you were doing the whole past few months anyway. Your world got a whoooole lot bigger when you came to college and you don't quite know how to handle it just yet. Remember those tears of relief when you drove away from campus at the end of freshman year and headed home for the summer? You were driving away from drama, friendship barriers and confusion. I think some of the tears you are shedding right now are tears of relief. You know deep down this is for the best. Maybe not even that deep. Once you get over this initial shock and confusion, you'll realize you're the better for it, you learned from the situation, the friendships that had artificial walls put up because of this will become some of the deepest friendships of your life. You'll eventually look back on this as yet another learning experience in this crazy life, one that hurt at the moment, but in retrospect is almost silly. Don't let it scar you. Don't let it make you doubt that there are good guys out there. There are. You're going to meet one in a few months when you go back to school. He's going to be kind and caring and considerate. He won't trample your feelings or two-time you. He will challenge you to grow and become a stronger person. He will climb up to your second story dorm window at 2 in the morning to leave flowers on your windowsill for you to find in the morning. He will be completely in love with you and entirely devoted to you. You will love the person you become because he is in your life. Cherish every moment, for each moment will lead to an even better one.


Ten Years Ago-July 2000

Dear Anna,

How does it feel to be 13? You've got your ears pierced, you're going to a real school for the first time this fall, you're starting highschool, you're pretty much on top of the world huh? That world is pretty big. You don't know it now. Your world has been the small bubble of homeschooling up until now but it's going to grow. It'll only grow a bit for your freshman and sophomore years of highschool. You'll still have a very small fishbowl to swim in but you will make new friends and get closer to some you already knew. Then, just as you get comfortable in that setting, you'll switch schools. This is going to rock your world for a time, but it is for the best and your world will grow even more. You'll have several crushes and finally find the courage to ask your parents what the rules are about you dating. They won't say a word about it and you'll assume it's forbidden, but you just have to have the guts to breach the subject. You will decide to be more open about such things with your own children. Senior year, a guy will come along and ask you out. It will end up being a pointless three months but please go for it. It will teach you a lot and I'm glad to say you will have kissed one boy before you go to college. You'll learn about having someone you don't really want afterall, and wanting someone you can't really have. You'll enjoy being taken on rides around town in an old Mustang and dancing in the elementary school parking lot. But that's all very far away since you are only a freshman. For now, enjoy going to SCHOOL. You've always wanted to go to a real school. Enjoy your lunchbox and backpack and uniform and homework. Cool it with the puffy hairbands though...

As you know, the world did not end at midnight on 12/31/1999. So, your family will have to figure out what to do with the propane tank, generator and refrigerator, milk cow, wheat grinder, freezers full of home grown chickens and white air tight buckets full of dried food. The first few things will get sold, the chickens will be eaten but the white buckets will last FOREVER. You will spend the next decade slowly picking away at them and watching them dwindle. The world did not end, but if it had, this family would have been SET.

Be nicer to your sister Sarah. I know she is a terror right now but she will turn out to be immensely cool and one of your dear friends. Remember that family comes first no matter how badly you've been'll forget that several years down the road, but it will turn out alright.

Try not to be so shy. Try to stand up for yourself more and make your own decisions. This is something you will always struggle with, but as your world grows, allow your confidence to grow as well. You've got an awesome road ahead of you.