Palms by Sarah Bessey
Me: Why is there glitter all over the sofa? What do we have that is glittery?
Trent: Children who attend daycare.
Me: I've got a pot roast in the crockpot at home. I'm on top of life today.
Coworker: Pot roast equals on top of life?
Me: Hey, small wins for people with small children.
Regarding our daughter and her spunky personality...
Trent: I'm so glad she turned into an actual human instead of a non-sleeping, vomiting, zombie child.
Brother: I want donuts
Trent: Sorry buddy, we don't have any donuts.
Brother: Uuh, get more donuts.