Sunday, September 12, 2010

Wonderwoman

This post is sort of in response to Kristin's post "Superwoman? Wonderwoman? Crazywoman? Mom". Except I guess cut out the Mom part for me.

Today is Sunday. Here was my day. We went to Sunday School and church, I came home, changed clothes, grabbed lunch, scraped my shin on the door of Trent's truck, went to the office for a few hours to get some more work done for the tax deadline this Wednesday, went to Kim's house and finished a hat, went to Michael's with her and spent a whole $35 on random stuff I don't really need but loved picking out, laid on her sofa while she finished a scarf, helped Caleb push a car up onto ramps, came home, cleaned out my car, picked up the living room, tripped over the dog, fed the dog, did dishes, swept the kitchen, decided not to mop the kitchen because the floor will just look the same again in a few hours, took out the trash, made a grocery list, contemplated running but realized it was already dark, realized I'm exhausted.....sat down here at the computer.

That sounds like I accomplished a lot today, doesn't it? Then why is it that all I can think about it what I did not accomplish today and this weekend? We went to get my new purse Friday night (more about that later), I worked yesterday and see above for today. So I didn't have time to do weekend chores. Trent did some yesterday and I did some today but it's still not done. I didn't get groceries. I didn't go running. The house is not clean. I feel like it never is. Reasons:

> it is a big house. 2100 square feet.
> we are busy
> I am not wonderwoman

I am not wonderwoman. I am not wonderwoman. I am not wonderwoman.

I need to beat that into my own head. Our house is a lived in home, occupied by a male, a female, a cat and a dog. There are going to be messes. We are going to run out of groceries. The dog is going to track dirt onto the kitchen's stupid white floor. The dirty clothes will not always make it into the hamper. Dinner will sometimes be from a box. It happens. It's called life. If I had time to keep my house clean, I guess that means I would have a boring life otherwise. It's ok for the vacuum to sit out in the den for a while after it's used. It's not the end of the world if the dog gets hold of a toilet paper roll and goes to town on it...all over the house. If I want to sit and knit instead of cleaning the kitchen, by golly, I should.

Yeah right. Who am I kidding? I want a clean, nice house. I want people to be able to stop by if they want to and me not be worried or ashamed of the way the place looks.

I am not wonderwoman. I am not wonderwoman. I am not wonderwoman.

I try to be, I want to be. But I'm not. And I don't think I ever can be. I had a small fit of anguish yesterday when I came home after working 6:00 am to 4:00 pm. I picked up my cat, of whom Trent had texted me several adorable photos throughout the day. Now, for those that don't know, my cat is my baby. I love her sooooo much. Well, yesterday as I was petting her on my shoulder, and she was rubbing against my neck, I started crying a little bit and said "I miss my cat. I feel like I'm never home." Granted this was coming off an exhausting day in the midst of other overtime days right before a tax deadline. But if I am so busy that I miss my cat, then that's a sure sign I don't have time to be wonderwoman.

So, in conclusion, I don't know what my conclusion is. Except maybe I need to try harder to feel like I don't need to try so hard?

I just realized I forgot to eat dinner.....

1 comment:

  1. A wonderwoman once said this to me and now I say it to you...."I love you muchly!"

    I think the answer to our Wonderwoman complexes is....a slumber party....one where we don't have to clean the floors or pick up toys or worry about a thing....except for what photo we will insert into the 100th digital scrapbook page we hope to complete together!

    Someday we will figure it all out....

    until then....

    WE are not wonderwomen...but we ARE wonderful women.

    and we have each other! I love you, friend!

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