MEMORANDUM
Date: August 9, 2012
To: The men of this world
From: A woman concerned for your enlightenment and understanding
Re: High heels
I. Issue
I recently purchased a pair of red high heels from DSW. In the days since, I have been the recipient of several friendly eye rolls and comedic comments, namely from my husband and a coworker who shall remain nameless. (*cough*Keith*cough*) These eye rolls and comments, though offered in jest and resulting in no offense on my part whatsoever, seem to indicate that the male gender does not generally understand why many women love high heels. In fact, that is precisely one of the comments I received: "I don't understand why women love high heels." Also the more general comment "I don't understand women." Well men, I have decided to at least attempt to enlighten you on this one particular issue so that you may come to understand at least a piece of your female counterparts, whether they be wives, sisters, moms, daughters, friends or coworkers. I concede that it is by no means true to say that all women love high heels. But you can find plenty who do. To avoid unnecessary eye rolling and jests, allow me to enlighten you.
II. Question
Why do women love high heels?
III. Conclusions
-If you are short, heels make you a normal height, allowing you to see eye to eye with the rest of your world.
-If you are a normal height, heels make you even taller, allowing you to feel like you are on top of your world.
-When wearing heels, there is an inexplicable urge to prance just a bit. I venture to say it may even be a necessity. I'm fairly certain prancing is acceptable when you are on top of your world.
-Heels make your legs look great. Legs look longer, calf muscles are accentuated.
-Comfortable heels do exist, and at affordable prices. An increase in price does not automatically mean increased comfort. For example, I can't make it three hours in a particular $60 pair of heels, but my current most comfortable pair cost $23.
-Heels themselves can be absolutely gorgeous. This is why your female counterparts may gasp upon spying a pair and experience "love at first step."
-Heels make females feel fabulous, and we like to feel fabulous.
IV. Support
DSW, Women's category, "Pumps and Heels"
Zappos, Women's Heels, "We found 5491 items!"
Personal acquaintance with many women who love high heels, including my sisters Katy and Sarah who are fearless high heel wearers. We are slowly wooing Abby in. Baby steps. (Pun very much intended)
In conclusion, men, if the fearless high heel wearing female in your life is your mom, tell her she looks spiffy and hip. If it is your coworker, say "cool shoes", then smile and nod as she proceeds to tell you every detail about them. If it is your daughter, hug her, tell her that she looks fancy and that she is growing up too fast. And men, if it is your wife, tell her that she looks dang sexy.
I appreciate the opportunity to provide you with what I hope is useful information. Please feel free to contact me in the comments section below if you have any questions on this matter.
Sincerely,
Anna
Budding High Heel Devotee
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